the perfect woman

i had a dream with you in it last night.

it was scrambled, of course, but in an orderly sense. you could read the thread of logic but couldnt quite get a grasp on it.

first it was a movie. a movie about us. we werent the only people in this movie, there was a cast of hundreds, with lots of quirky side characters and bitter, quick witted best friends. it was a musical. a grand one, the kind with a string of sexy cabaret dancers doing the can-can and huge choreographed numbers that ended with a glorious explosion of pyrotechnics. there were scenes where i would be running, gripping your hand, dragging you behind me. i guess i was the hero, you were my damsel, and i was protecting us from some unseen evil.

but thats not where it ended. the movie wrapped, and then the dream was just about us, as actors, playing characters in the movie. extras lingered about the set, co-stars congratulated us on a job well done. the cameras sat still, no longer rolling.

we went back to a big house. huge but not fancy. not fancy in the least. you lived there but i didnt, and every bedroom had at least two people in it. we were looking for a room to be alone, but everywhere we went random occupants [friends of yours i assumed] spoiled the privacy. finally we found one and we laid on the bed.

we started kissing, groping each other, feeling every inch of our body. then just as soon as we shut our eyes and prepared for ecstasy someone came in. they hopped on the bed next to us. started blabbing about their day. we were patient and polite, and they eventually went to sleep. when i turned towards you you were asleep too. you looked so cute, i didnt wake you up.

then i awoke. it was one of those dreams where when you wake up the dream haunts you. it stings you. it was one of those dreams where when you wake up you miss someone so much it hurts. so i tried to call you but there was no answer and no machine to leave a message on. then i sat down to write you but i realized i didnt have your address.

i paced around my apartment for a few hours. listening to the cars smashing outside my window and sucking down cigarettes. i ate an apple and finished the rest of a book i'd been reading. i surfed the internet and watched the sky begin to rain. i waited for a little while longer and by mid afternoon had forgotten you ever existed.