the goiter

we talked for a long time on the phone today. well, at least it was a long time for us. we rarely speak for longer than five or ten minutes at a time usually. and even these conversations have slow, relaxed pauses that perforate the actual airtime we share. it wasnt always this way. when we were in grade school, before i was adopted and his mother became our mother, we would sit on the phone for hours. not really talking about anything, just watching tv and holding the phone to our ear. these days our conversations are pretty much the same i guess, just much shorter.

but my brother is coming to stay with me for two months this summer, so we had to go over some shit. clothes he should bring. clothes he shouldnt. where he would sleep. where he most definitely wouldnt. how to get around. how to get into the palace. etc. etc. things that needed to be clear before he arrived. but i left out something...



what i didnt mention is his neck. his neck has a huge lump on it. a HUGE one. its only been there for about a year but its fucking monstrous! its like a fuckin baby head poking out of his collar. when you walk around the room you can feel it following you. and you cant take your eyes off of it, its mesmerizing. and towering. it is a commanding presence. at any moment you expect it speak. and you know if and when it does, its probably going to cuss a lot.

ive asked him about it before, and he just dismissed it as if it was a pimple. yeah dude, a pimple that looks like a doorknob growing hair. but i didnt press it because i realize he must be at least a BIT self conscious about it. i mean, he has looked at himself in the mirror and he has seen this lump the size of a preteen scrotum hanging from his neck. he HAS to bit concerned.

i asked our mom too, who has a bit more medical knowhow than i being that she's a nurse. and she told me its just a goiter. just some shit that sometimes grows under your skin and you have to get it removed. its not cancerous or contagious, its not fatal or even very harmful, and its not going to go away until he goes to the doctor and gets it removed. -he went to countless doctors, she said, and they all tell him the same thing. its not gonna kill him, its just this thing in his neck. so, thats that. until he gets it removed, he will... you know... have a big ass lump on his neck.

other than that, hes a decent enough looking guy. well groomed, fashionable, witty, the lot of it. but damn, hes got that thing on his neck. it just kinda creeps me out. maybe its just me, i mean, he seems to do fine in disco with it. having one night stands, having one more before last call, avoiding his phone because hes too tired to go out. maybe im just trippin. maybe im just an ass.

we'll see. i hope new york treats him politely.