Wednesday, January 19, 2005

two heavy screwdrivers into it

im a lazy blogger. bad blogger! bad lazy blogger! bad! [smack!]

my lifes been a renter lately. forgettable dialog. uneven action sequences. but a couple clever cameos and at least one genuinely humorous moment. still, it hasnt been anything you would call "big screen" material. nothing you would want to waste your VALUABLE time on.

the tune in my head is amerie's 'talking about'. its getting major rotation, consuming the airwaves. the drums make me shiver they beat so hard. they crash and roll. crash and roll. it has a little bit of a beyonce flavor that i'll forgive, if for nothing less than because i dont have the courage to hate on it. its too good. its hard soul that beats the dancefloor. insane. check it out. [i'll add links later, when im NAKED]

ive switched from hops to spirits. thats right. you heard me.

it was time. i had just gotten paid, and it wasnt a rent check. nah. it was a go for it check. a start a tab at the bar check and take her out to dinner check. its the check you get your porno passwords with. the one you get that gram with. the get the laundry service instead of doing it yourself with check. the enjoy the night with check. the buy a jug of vodka and some oj check.

so thats what i did, and so far its working.

i ordered some cigarettes a while back. from a new spot. one i just stumbled across. i think they are out of canada. ottawa or something else that sounds like the descendant of a beaver. anyway, they are cheap. almost TOO cheap. comes to something like, $1.00 a pack, free shipping. ridiculous. so, this was way back in like, 1998 or something, and im still waiting for my cigarettes. finally i email them and ask politely where the cigarettes i ordered [twenty seven years ago] were. and do you know what these fuckin cigarette peddlin canucks do? they reply with this impatient ass email talking about, -what are you going on aboot ay? as we have tried to inform yoo, the holidays make us crazy moose fisting homo perverts and it SLOWS DOWN THE SHIPPING PROCESS, ay? if you would have just read our website you would know this. now if you doont mind, i have to get back to electro shocking this nice elderly womans clitoris. your smokes will get there, ay? have a good day. sincerely, unimportant character in your life.

this was two weeks ago. i still havent received my cigarettes.

[unsheathing blade.]

whatchu think nigga, im playin?

yeah, so aside from buttering up canadians i got nothin. ive been workin. pimping these melodies. gettin my school shiza in order. i got a class in harlem next semester. that should prove interesting. parade among the history of me. peep how the north did shit. check out a few bars after class maybe. absorb things. find a connection, if there is any. harlem is deep and raging. its rich, it swings. its on tap. so get a glass hookers. pull up a chair.

[i saw this old cat at the bodega today. trying to collect on some lotto winnings. the kid behind the counter refused him though. he was too late, the kid said. forty five days until they expire, the kid said. i cant do nothin for ya, the kid said. the old man stood still, staring. his mouth was silent. then -forty five days?. yup, the kid said, and he threw my cigarettes across the counter. i started to feel sympathy for him, an old sadness began to swell inside of me, but then i rejected the sensation; i couldnt feel sorry for the chump. he fucked up. he should've known. you gotta cash in son. you cant hold your chips. crack it while its cold. get it while its hot. take what you have earned. what are you doing? what are you waiting for? you win the lottery, collect the dough. why are you playing otherwise? no. i couldnt cry for that broken dream. he wasnt a victim. he was a dumbass. its too bad, but what can i do. hey, enjoy the snow buddy.]



Blogger freeker said...

i'm officially jealous.

nice one.

11:47 AM EST  

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:gray matters: by jkg is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
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