Saturday, February 11, 2006

that aint cute


and I took another walk, this time through the neighborhood and then to the city then up and down the avenue then back home again. sometimes I was stoned and I had my headphones on, at others I was marching and gritting my teeth. neither time was a cracking jokes or being witty. to tell the truth I was being quite boring.

this blog has lost its funny. like the other sock, the remote control, or the evidence against me in that dead hooker case, its just plain missing, and no one has a clue where it went. it used to be here in abundance, like ass cheek on a brazilian trannys back, but it slowly disappeared, until the only post in ages was about a dead hip hop producer or a fake recipe for liver disease. its like my funny bone stopped shivering, and now when you hit me there I just say 'ow,' and punch you in the face.

its not like I havent been funny. not at all. on the contrary, ive been downright hilarious these past few days. ive been shit your pants funny at time. really, you should have been there! I would have slayed you!

oh I can create a long list of clever quips and amusing anecdotes ive shared for entertainment in the past few days. theres been crazy frat parties gone horribly wrong

[an unruly crowd of baseball caps screwed to the back pump white knuckled fist in the air and chant: FELCH! FELCH! FELCH! FELCH!]

and gay star wars fan fiction involving Lando Calrissian, Jabba the Hutt, and Darth Vader using THE FORCE for auto erotic asphyxiation. and im not even going to get into the clever cracks about homeless people, most religious deities, and the obligatory dead baby reference. so its not like i havent been delivering the gold. its just not been on the ol blog.

so i tell you what, why dont you have a glass of wine. then another. then another, then a few more. then another. and then when you wake up, still drunk, with your mouth tasting like cotton soaked in expired milk, read my site and laugh a little. you wont give a fuck what it says as long as it takes your mind off the insufferable pounding in your head.

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:gray matters: by jkg is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
Based on a work at downtownalleys.blogspot.com.