The Brawny Man has feelings for you

Around mid afternoon on this crisp, lazy Brooklyn Monday, seeing as I had the day off from work and, as it appeared, had already seen every movie, watched every television show, and heard every song ever made, I decided i would do a little internet dumpster diving. It is a dangerous venture, i know, that can result in at the very least a virus spreading through your computer like a black plague of ones and zeroes or at the very most: jail time [ass rape included]. It involves digging through my spam folder and clicking on various links, just to see if I can find any gold, or women, or drugs, or even quite possibly, hopefully, a larger penis. As luck would have it, I found none such riches. But I found something much better:

THE BRAWNY MAN

I don’t know if Brawny intended for these clips evoke the reaction they do from me. I'm sure not going to look at those thick pillars of soft, Brawny paper towels in the same way again. There is something about a really big lumberjack talking to you in voice that skates the fine balance of friend, therapist and rapist, which just puts me at unease. It was as if when you hear him talking to you, you simultaneously feel him massaging your feet. It feels nice for a second, and then you're like, "Whoa dude, who said you can massage my feet?"

Why don’t you tell Brawny Man about your Monday, he'll listen to you, I promise. Uh huh, really?

and to make it even more fun, you can create your own. i did.

Now, sit back and let the Brawny Man serenade you...

credit due to Alex Fairchild for the link to comedy gold