a second to acknowledge my cats

i dont understand cats. i guess that goes without saying for anybody though, not even scientist have unraveled all the mysteries of our feline friends. for thousands of years they have been these graceful enigmas, furry by our side. we have figured out their most basic instincts, answering the most obvious questions, but largely they go unsolved. we have yet to crack the psychology of the cat. we just know they are cute, clean, sometimes playful, and sometimes assholes.

ive read a couple books about cats. well, ive skimmed through them at least. and we sort of know why their tail moves in certain ways, and what their ear position may signal. we have a good idea of why they claw things, and a loose grasp on the nature of their purrs and mews. but other than that, we dont know much. we dont really know why they sleep so much. and we cant tell if they can ever be truly domesticated. ive accepted that we will probably ponder these riddles our entire existence, but god damn, if my cats sometimes are just plain weird.

they are brother and sister, yet, from their stark differences, you would imagine they came from totally different litters. Miles, for one, is way large. his long black body stretching almost twice the size of Sophie's. he also has a fierce killer instinct, and attacks his toys as if they have dishonored his family. Sophie, on the other hand, likes to bat at her toys curiously, never really causing much of a stir, never fully unsheathing her claws. where as when i dangle a toy in front of Miles he strikes for it with a vengeance, jaw stretched and teeth bared, talons ready for attack, Sophie will just stare at it with her head cocked, following it with her eyes for a moment, possibly take a lazy swat at it with her paw, then get bored and move on. She does not have the time for such jibba jabba.

they also have strange behavior:

- for some reason wherever i go in the house they follow me. not in a puppy dog at my feet kind of way, but in a "oh, we were going to this room too, what a coinky-dink," kind of way. they just come to the same room as me and hang out, then get kinda annoyed if i try to pet them too much.

- Sophie likes to get in the bathtub and chillax. if one of us is in there at the same time as her, she starts purring out of control and rubbing her face on the faucet until we turn it on so that just a tiny bit of water drips out. then she stands at the faucet and she takes her paw and catches the water, then licks the water from her paw. she does this for hours.

- Miles likes to fetch. he takes one of his toys and brings it to you like a trophy, dropping it at your feet, then proceeds to ravage it and anything [see: your feet] in its path until you throw it across the room. of course, then he goes and gets it, brings it back, drops it at your feet, attacks it, and you go through it all again. one time he bought his toy to me while i was on the toilet. we just sort of stared at each other, not doing anything. it was awkward.

- Sophie is way more the aloof of the two. shes generous with her love, but not too generous. unlike Miles, she doesnt like being picked up and held, and she hates being disturbed while she sleeps. she lets you stroke her fur but only at a strict, even pace and not too fast or rough. come 5:30 in the morning though, she gets the devil in her and MUST be petted. her motor goes into over drive and she forces your hands on her head, furiously rubbing against you. its sort of an alarming thing to be woken up to. but come 6 o'clock, she's back to barly tolerating your company.

- Miles has gotten into the habit of just lying where ever the hell he feels like it. no longer does he try to find a cushy spot where he can make biscuit's and curl up. if he feels like laying down in the middle of the room on the hardwood floor, then god damnit he will. he doesnt move if you are walking his eay either. you have to step over him. its his path, you are just walking in it.

- Miles also gets bored eating food from a bowl, so he takes his food out, bats it along the floor, and eats it from there. He also has a thing against glasses filled with liquid. they bug him, so he knocks them over.

- Sophie like to pee in the litter boxes while your cleaning them. she doesnt want to wait. when she has to go, she has to go. she saves some for each box too, ensuring it takes you forever to clean them all.

- Miles likes to sleep lengthwise facing you, so that when you open your eyes in the morning and look at each other its like an uncomfortable moment after a bizarre one night stand.

yeah my cats are a little weird, but i love em. plus, they would totally murder any big ass roaches that decided to move in.