Wednesday, November 02, 2005

oh, you aint know?


because i cant think of a proper post, but am trying to get consistent and post every other day [at least], this update will be brought to you in bullet point format. it highlights some facets of my sparkling yet enigmatic character. and now, for some things you might not have known:
  • i like to confess to strangers. and friends. and people i meet while smoking a cigarette on the back porch of a party.
  • i like horror movies, even though they scare me. the next one im afraid to see is Cannibal Holocaust and when i think about watching it my stomach gets tied in knots.
  • no matter how much sleep i get, im still severely tired in the morning.
  • even though i have a remarkable charm in person, i am much more honest and sincere in email form.
  • i am haunted by my past and sometimes fear it will suffocate my future.
  • when im silent and staring into space, usually i am thinking of words to describe what im feeling or mixing two records together in my head.
  • i have a high standard of humor and have been known to stop hanging out with people because they arent witty enough.
  • i wont touch a girl if she doesnt invite me to. so playing hard to get doesnt really work with me bitches.
  • the most important reason im in love with L-chuckles is because she is one of the funniest girls i have ever met, but i dont tell her this, i tell her its because she's got a nice rack.
  • i worry about keeping my weight down more often as i get older, and think this is vain and shallow and sort of hate myself for it. but whatever, no fatties please.
  • i have never been in a threesome with two girls, and dont really find it to be a fantasy of mine either. im much happier giving all my attention to one woman.
  • i suck at scrabble, yet love the game.
  • im a good basketball player but dont play that often because i dont want to fit into a typical stereotype thrust upon me by society. this self righteousness probably prevented me from being a rich and famous NBA player that could have retired at 33.
  • my favorite number, for some reason, is 19.
  • i want everything i do to be perfect. the best. this makes me hesitate to do a lot of things for fear it wont be as good as i want it to be, and probably limits what i can accomplish.
  • i'm a cat person. i like dogs and all, but when it comes down to it, i like the kitties more.
  • sometimes porno or pharmaceutical spam will work on me and ill click it. what can i say, im a sucker for drugs and whores.
  • talking babies creep me out. so do animal hybrids.
  • when i was a kid and would play the game M.A.S.H., i never picked mansion because it seemed boring and typical. i always picked apartment.
  • i am a cinema geek and troll the internet searching for info about yet to be released movies. i also try to see one or two movies [in the theater] a month, time permitting of course.
  • ive been told i have a cute butt, and tend to agree.
  • even though im annoyed by panhandlers, i have a deep sympathetic sorrow inside for their situation, and always try to share my change even if i know they're gonna buy crack with it. hey, you gotta get your crack somehow.
  • i like big butts and i can not lie, even though you other suckas might deny, that when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waste and a big round thing in your face, you get sprung.
  • im not gay, but didnt know this for sure until i tried to have a gay experience and didnt like it. it was just too hairy and not soft enough and well, it kinda grossed me out. oh well. guess this just means im all yours ladies.
and that raps this chapter of, "oh, you aint know?" with me: jon. tune in the day after tomorrow for a special episode of "damn dog, yo breath stank!" and be sure to catch the two part weekend edition of "man, my ass itches!" i hope you have a wonderful evening, and as the british say, ta!

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:gray matters: by jkg is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
Based on a work at downtownalleys.blogspot.com.