Thursday, May 05, 2005

Nicotine Reveries

i heart your sexy scar

so i started the patch yesterday. Weird thing, the patch. for some reason [i didnt look up why] it inspires very vivid dreams. i had heard of this little phenomenon from two other people but dismissed it as chemical consequences since they werent on just "the patch" when they told me. but the literature that accompanies the box they came in confirmed these strange rumors. right there in the 'How To Use The Patch' section it clearly lays the disclaimer: When using this product, if you have vivid dreams or other sleep disturbances, you may remove the patch at bedtime and apply a new one in the morning.

to be honest with you that was the best news yet about the patch in my opinion. vivid dreams are somewhat extraordinary and always waken me with the sensation that i have been experienced something of importance.

last night was my first night on the patch. lets tour my dreams [i think ill make that my next few post theme, if the theory sticks and i remember my nighttime illusions]:

so me and L-evator are at this mansion and it is the wrap party for some music video from some artist my company has put out. i know this only because half my co-workers were there and everyone was clinking champagne and congratulating themselves on a job well done. the mansion wasnt like, epic, Daddy Sawbucks proportions, but it was definitely on a huge plot of land and had a ridiculous amount of rooms as well as a huge pool and deck. Think any Jay-Z video from the late 90's.

so the whole joint is catered and with fancy lobster snacks and tiny, pricey quiches and all other sort of munchies that only the rich munch on when they are celebrating some event that will inevitably make them all richer. in other words, i was trying to take advantage of the situation. but the thing is, everytime one of the catering waiters would pass by with a tray all the food would be gone and just the crumbs would be left on the platter. this kept happening; everytime i reached for some eats i would be a little too late and be left with an empty hand, as well as mouth and tummy.

eventually i gave up on it and started to mingle, L-dweez was off somewhere mingling so i was on the solo when i bumped into this chick Rachel that used to work in our publicity department [she got fired about a year ago but in my dream, apparently she was still on the payroll]. Now Rachel is a real cute jewish chick that i instantly bonded with [in 'real' life] over out shared love of detroit techno, so it was a pleasant surprise seeing her at the party. we start flirting a bit, as we have always done, when suddenly L-dweez walks up to us, obviously bored with the mingling scene.
i introduce the two and L-train quickly picks up on the mutual attraction me and Rachel have for eachother, and promptly give her an icy greeting and claims that we have to go.

-fine. i say. hug Rachel goodbye [partly because i wanted to hold her for a bit and partly to piss of L-greeny] and we make our way out of the party to a bus that supposedly is going to transport everyone home [i guess the mansion was far out of the way and so a bus was in order to take all the guest back to their respective home environments].

Then, and this is where it gets a little surreal, Tina Fey is at the party, sporting a white robe which im assuming covered up a bathing suit [it was a hot day and im sure whatever video we were shooting involved a pool scene]. instantly i realize she is the clown/dork of the party that everyone make a fun of but also admires because she makes more and better fun of herself. she piles on the bus and sits in a seat directly in front of me and L-skeez. as the bus pulls of she sits up and turns around to us with a large fake goatee on her chin and, stroking it like an evil mastermind says "good evening my darlings, have you seen my beard brush?"

of course me and the lza start laughing hysterically, as does tina and thats when i woke up.

it should be said that when i did wake i had a deep crush on Rachel and a slight admiration for Tina Fey's sense of humor. this is no surprise i get a crush on a different girl every other week. but never before has a joke translated so well in my dreams.

i think Tina should do that bit on SNL's weekend update. it might make that show just a tiny bit funnier.


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:gray matters: by jkg is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
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