Sunday, March 20, 2005

image heavy

what do i want to extend this time around?

im a flake. a big flake. im not what you would call a 'flaky' person. no. i make it to where i need to be [most of the time. if its of interest], and i cling to the fringes of where i want to be. but if im not required to attend, if my presence isnt absolutely necessary, then i might just not show up. i'll flake. and i dont really have a problem with flaking. i have a problem with "flakes," but the act of flaking i can totally get down with. i mean, sometimes you just dont wanna go. as white people these days are fond of saying, 'dont hate the playa, hate the game.'

my tolerance has gotten ridiculous. two rum and cokes, three vodka oj's, 4 spliffs, two blunts, and a couple valium, and i still cant go to sleep. im not even messy. its not even like im an ass. im just kinda high. i got kind of a buzz. im not gonna vomit. im not gonna pass out. im not desperately horny. im not hyper creative. i cant feel any urges. i cant find that verge. there isnt any danger. its almost boring.

work is wheelin and dealin. school is burning through me. nothing changed there.

she might leave me in the 06. says she needs to go back to school. wants to be a physical therapist. says she cant afford an east coast education, that cali campuses got he best deals. she did her research. her academic wheelin and dealin. she has a fat place in disco, rent free. backyard with a pond. fully furnished with a seventeen inch flat screen monitor to boot. its a cake deal. i support her on it. i think its something she should do. i think she should be happy. i think she shouldnt feel as lonely as she does. i think she is a brilliant and marvelous person. i love her and hope for her happiness. i need her and hope she is always there. i can only imagine the hole she will leave. and the inevitable collapse. but it is just the nature of things. i can only wish her the best.

Dang!, these jeans makin my buttplug itch!

we go down to miami next weekend. shes coming this time. sorta scares me. you know... WORLDS COLLIDING. man! i mean, what goes on in miami, stays in miami [well, actually that just applies to vegas, but you can lend that adage to most any tropical city that has crazy hot chicks with fat thick asses parading the street], right? well not this time dude. nah, miami is coming with a security escort this time around. so, no funny stuff buddy! i dont want any of your tricks! pfft. ah well. shes a lotta fun, guess ill have to kick it with the lizzle. at least shes funny as fuck and lets me stick it in her when i want.

is my eyeliner smudgy?

oh yeah. and my boy fuckin posted before i could even link his site to my blog. what a bitch ass! after i wrote all that shit about him not postin for ages. makin me look all stupid. shoo. next time i see him imma slap the shit outta his cheek. watch. its gonna sting like fuck too.


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:gray matters: by jkg is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
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