Tuesday, May 09, 2006

breaking the day.


Yesterday was just another day in a long string of days from my past. I woke up and squinted at the sun. I walked to the kitchen and poured a glass of water, then I drank it then I took a piss. My mouth was dry and bitter. I saw a glass of wine on the counter, half filled from the night before, and I gazed at it for a second and thought about the morning and the afternoon. Then I picked it up and chugged it down and it washed the taste of shit from my mouth. It was warm chardonnay. A squirrel jumped on my fire escape and started scratching at the window screen. I cursed at it and it ran away and I cursed a little more then farted then laughed. The house was empty, just like it is now.

But that was Monday, yesterday, things were different then.

Yesterday I felt both lazy and restless. I woke up that way: bored and impatient, like an empty excitement rattled in my stomach. I felt the wind in the leaves and the stillness of the sun and the sidewalk and the people that walked along it. It charged me and exhausted me; it confused all my will. I lost confidence and felt pathetic but didn’t care that I did. I was indifferent. I was anxious. Things had to be done but I just couldn’t remember what.

Yesterday when I went to check my email and realized that I hadn’t got anything important my body fell limp and I yawned and closed my eyes and asked the universe what I should do. As usual, the universe didn’t answer. Then I went and had another cigarette and stared out the window at the school kids playing dodge ball in the yard across the street. This one kid got beamed in the face pretty hard and he fell to the ground. Then he got up and marched up to the kid that threw it and stared at him or talked to him, I couldn’t see, and the other kids stood around and watched. Then they all broke apart and started playing dodge ball again. The kid that got hit in the face dramatically held one hand over his eye while playing the rest of the game with only the other hand.

It was around noon then so I rolled a spliff and I saw a little folded piece of paper in my paraphernalia box. It was from Friday night. I had forgotten about it. An underground techno party at a loft in Brooklyn with a big rooftop and a makeshift bar. I left pretty early, at 3am or so. The little package only got touched once that night. I unfolded it slowly and when it was opened my eyes groaned and my throat closed up and I gagged a little. Most of it was still there.

Yesterday I learned that you can find out how to freebase cocaine on the internet. Then I found out that freebasing cocaine isn’t all that great and sort of hurts and sometimes makes you choke. Then it came to my attention that it’s a precarious method that waste most of your coke and doesn’t even get you as high. Then I tried it out for myself and realized all I’d been taught was true. it’s a good thing I don’t like cocaine or I might have been pissed, as it is though, good riddance.

Then I rolled another spliff and aimlessly surfed the internet. Then I rolled another spliff and aimlessly surfed the internet some more. Eventually I just watched some porno, as that was where it had been heading the whole time, then I just sat there feeling lonely and bothered. The phone rang once but I didn’t answer it and then got annoyed they didn’t leave a message. At about three I decided I need a beer and walked to the store and got one. Then I walked back home and turned on the television and let images think for me. By five I was drunk and getting hungry. By six I had a hangover.

Yesterday at around eight o’clock L-sunray called. I told her I was tired and had a headache and I wanted to rent a movie and eat Mexican for dinner. She said awww and asked if I was ok. I said yeah but she knows she always knows its like a fucking super power with her and that’s why I love her but sometimes its like I’m trapped and cant fully escape how I feel. She asked why I was tired and I said I dunno I think I slept wrong and she accepted this which was a relief to me because the last thing you want to tell your girlfriend when you are thirty years old and unemployed is that you are drunk and stoned and coming down from an afternoon of experiments with cocaine freebasing. She said she’d be home soon and not to order without her and I said ok and finished off my beer.

I got a text message from Charles, the contract is done, we should sign it this week. I am now a partner in a company. I text back woo hoo and he text back congratulations. I made a joke about how we should get an office in Tribeca or Soho and diamond pendants of our company logo to hang from the gold chains on our neck. He said maybe we should buy a yacht or jet skis and I asked why would we ever want to leave our indoor pool, he agreed and said that now we will only get the highest quality transsexual hookers and I said without a doubt I was getting a boner just thinking about it. he laughed and I laughed and we both breathed a big sigh of relief.

When L-sunray got home she climbed on top of me and rubbed my head and giggled when I kissed her neck. -My stereo is broken, she said, it won’t turn on. I bit her on the ear and said back, -I got something that will “turn on your stereo”, and I made the air quote sign with my eyebrows and she giggled again. –I’m serious, she said. I told her I would look at it, I said it would be a project of mine. -I don’t know how to fix stereos, but I’ll look at it, I said. She hugged my neck and asked if I would really do it and I said sure. She said if I fixed it I would be her hero and I said well consider it fixed because you are looking at a bona fide Ace and then I looked up to space so she could get a good profile shot of my heroic bone structure.

That was yesterday. Monday. Today is entirely different.

******************

There is a war going on, a war on open toed sandals,something must be done. The good citizens of Straight Bangin, Crunk and Disorderly, and even the honorable Ms. Bees Knees, have taken up the good fight. Will you?

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Creative Commons License
:gray matters: by jkg is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
Based on a work at downtownalleys.blogspot.com.