snap shot

i was on a swing. it was black rubber and hung above a sandbox. i was swinging back and forth, extending my legs out on the upswing and bending them back while going back down. when at the height i would be beaming and at the same time repressing the ache to jump out and beyond, and on the way down i would breath a sigh of relief that the ache was no longer there and at the same time anticipate the ache swelling up again upon ascension. while moving my legs, i made the motions hesitantly, because i am so tall and it felt awkward moving them in such a way, ugly, retarded, especially when my feet kicked up sand at the bottom of the stroke. but i pretended i didnt notice, or at least i pretended no one else noticed.

it was me, jimmy, aaron, and two girls whose name i forget. the girls were sitting on the wooden jungle gym. one was at the bottom of the slide, the other was at the top of the apparatus, in a domed area surrounded in colored plastic windows. i could see spontaneous sparks igniting inside the plastic windows dull reflection, exposing the colors they were made from. green and red and blue, the top a dirty yellow witches hat. aaron and jimmy sat at the edges of the sandbox and jimmy was making patterns in the sand with his foot and aaron was staring down and jimmy's foot and no one was saying anything.

it was a summer warm morning still black with night. the air was thick in cricket chirps, boredom and shyness. the girl on the slide lit a cigarette and asked what we were going to do, but we all knew that there was no answer to that. there, in the quiet lunacy of youth, we were to do exactly what we were doing.