i suppose I've been waiting to write this post for quite some time. and by saying that i mean to convey that it doesn't come as a shock I'm writing it. this post was less fate as it was inevitable. its an unsurprising eventuality. long ago this post was coming and now its finally its here.
i met Lea when i was nineteen years old. i was working at a new age store and was standing behind the counter when she came in to drop off her resume for a job. i smiled and took it and put it behind the counter and told her id give it to a manger, which i did. we both flirted with our eyes if i remember correctly. but i could be wrong, that could just be some romantic day dream. anyway, she got the job and i started putting in work on her. given her all of my charm and even more if i could. she never resisted. not even once. it was a mutual affection. we were together after not to long.
then two weeks later, i decided i didn't want a girlfriend anymore. she was fine with that. so we broke up.
so for 7 years we were just friends. we had sex every so often, on a night where someone had had too much alcohol or speed or e or all three, but mostly, we were just friends.
we slept with everyone under the sun. we did our dirt and digging. we kept in touch. then one day i woke up and for some strange reason, I'm in love. and she realized she was in love too.
so we moved to new york, lea and i, and we started to work like everyone else. we got on our grind. we got lost in the current. we followed the flow. we made it happen. but in that current we lost touch. we gravitated towards our own patterns and pace. we strove in isolation. we parted ways. then it ends.
and there is so much more i could write in this post. there is a book of poems and an epic novel. but for now i can only write that it started and then it ended. and now we are free and we are alone and we can only assume that is best. because it is regardless.