down to the wire

there is my alcoholism. there is the steady rush of traffic outside. there are my cats walking along my desk, lost in curiosity, sniffing at the monitor and carving their scent into my books and files and cd's. pasted everywhere are post it notes with thoughts and ideas or duties and reminders, passwords and confirmation numbers and simple drunken poems and names and numbers to people i hardly even know. there is a bag of weed and a bag of tobacco and a beer and an ashtray that needs to be dumped. there are loose bills, usually small denominations, scattered all around, tucked under things and strewn across others. incense ash lay still like a second skin over everything.there is the current im taken by. and there are the secrets and the guilt that calmly boil that current. there is the worry and the uncertainty and the impatience inside me. the underlying restlessness.

all this while trying to create a power point presentation with a coherent narrative and a clear, concise overview of the Mexican Drug cartel wars. an assignment due on wednesday and an assignment i just started today.

i should have realized the breadth and scope of such a topic would take more time than 5 hours to complete. but i work in strange processes. everything is last minute to me.

shit, i really need to budget my time better.