rap music sucks

thats right. i said it. rap sucks. and you know why it sucks? because it fuckin sucks! thats why.

i grew up on rap. been listening to it since day one. the first song i ever remember telling my mom i wanted was "Rappers Delight," by the Sugarhill Gang. it sounds cliche but its the truth. i think i was 2 or 3 years old at the time and remember liking when he said the line "fly in the air with his pantyhose." for some reason that was the funniest shit in the world to me. im sure the catchy bassline and drum loop that didnt change for the entirety of the song, which i think is about 45 minutes long, and encouraged me to do that little bobbing dance that toddlers do helped shape my opinion a little too.

but the fact is, from the giddy up, the get go, the starting gun, ive been listening to rap [or hip hop, whatever]. i mean, ive always listened to pop music too, and my mom had a fair fascination with Stevie Wonder and Pink Floyd, so i got pretty in tune with that side of music as well, but it was hip hop that was in heavy rotation when i started wholly defining my taste in music.

i listened to the low frequency stations, way left on the dial, that gave me my first taste of RUN DMC, Rakim, EPMD, Too Short, and every other seminole hip hop figure from the musics inception. i was bumping cassette tapes made by the thugs in my neighborhood long before NWA hit the scene and "gangster rap" became a genre. i was listening to the shit in 89-90 when it got stale and niggas was rocking loafers and doing coon dances for the masses. i was well versed by the time the renaissance hit in 92-93 and kids these days think thats when hip hop started. shit, i was a dj by the time they heard their first record.

ok, i know i sound CRAZY old right now, with the "kids these days" attitude and what not, but im a little frustrated right now and im gonna use my extensive knowledge and vast experience to pull rank on these bitches. what?

rap music sucks.

at least this year it does. i saw two post today recapping the five best hip hop albums of the year. and you know what, they had a hard time doing it. both had to preface their list with some kind of disclaimer saying "the hip hop records this year sucked but im gonna do this shit anyway" kinda statement. and the list they did come up with had albums that were mediocre at best.

im not even gonna waste my time linking the sites or sharing their list. it aint worth it. besides this isnt about their list being bad. its not about them at all. its about rap music.

and rap music sucks.

im sure it will get better, its just going through a phase. kinda like it did in 89-90. you know, the loafer era. except this time instead of fancy silk shirts and r&b hooks its shiny denim coats and r&b hooks. fools done traded in their high top fades for spinners and their back up dancers in hammer pants for video hoes in thongs. but its still the same. it aint new jack, but its jacked.

shit needs to get good soon though. the yin yang twins smell like shit, common is a boring pretentious nuisance, fuck that pseudo-intellectual emo white boy shit, and dont even get me started on all the crap coming out of new york right now. rap better knuckle up and start dropping bombs, because if it doesnt than... well, i'll be pretty damn annoyed.

fuckin rap music. fuckin sucks.

oh. and if you were thinking, well what the fuck jon! what are you listening to if you think your so cool? huh? what does your big bad brain think is "worthy" of our ears you rap hating prick? well, let me list my 5 of the year [all genres]:

Roisin Murphy - "Ruby Blue"
The Arcade Fire - "Funeral"
Platinum Pied Pipers - "Triple P"
MIA and Diplo - "Piracy Funds Terrorism"
Me & Yomama - "Can I at Least Stick in the Tip"

i would ad links but you know... FUCK RAP!