something if not nothing

holy shit its been a lifetime since i last posted. the world has spun a thousand times and a thousand times again. ive smoked hundreds of cigarettes, polished off a million bottles of beer. ive gained weight and age and its not just from all the lager and bali shag, though thats part of it. here are a few of the things that have been on my mind:

- my laptop died. or maybe i should say, my laptop was murdered by me. i spilled a glass of orange juice on its keyboard. i tell everybody that my cat did it because im sort of embarrassed at how dumb it is. death was quick. the glass tipped over and then the keyboard was orange. i hurriedly dried it off but when i pressed the power button it refused to come on. the screen stayed black. i tool it to get fixed last monday, they said they would call me in a week. a week and a day later my phone still hasnt rung. i remain patient.

in the mean time i installed a wireless card into my old pc computer, a feat i cant be proud enough of. ive never been very technologically inclined, so this was something of an accomplishment for me. i brag about it to all my friends. i figured out how to log into the administrator of the pc (something i still dont understand but an obstacle i eventually hurdled) and installed some wireless card software. then i opened up my computer and inserted a wireless card into an empty PCI slot (i think), then, after putting my computer back together and turning it on, i reconfigured it to receive a wireless connection. after all that, viola! a new post on my tiny little online journal. [bows]

thing is, i need my computer. bad. i dont need just A computer, i need MY computer. when i tool it to the store to get fixed, they said they would clean it for $250, but if it needed parts, it could come out to $1100-$1400 on top of that. thats a brand new laptop. and even if i got all my information from it, i would still no longer have a laptop.

all my music is on there. and i have been leaning increasingly on my mp3's for djing at gigs. sure, i could murder a party if all i had to play was house. i got deep vinyl catalog for those occasions. but the gigs i have coming up involve pop and R&B, all the current hip hop and some hipster drum heavy rock and clever mash ups. one important gig, my next gig, calls for christmas carols. i aint gonna go out and by a bunch of christmas carol records, so obviously i need my laptop for the many digital christmas carol tracks there are waiting for my greedy fingers to snatch them up from the internet. plus, this gig pays a good amount of change. enough for a new laptop.

but i cant do the gig if i dont have the laptop, but i cant get the laptop unless i do the gig.

- my back has begun hurting again. its a bad hurt. a familiar hurt. ive gotten out of shape. my girlfriend says my belly's been sticking out. its true. ive noticed it too. i woke up this morning and did some pilates. i promised myself id do them every day from today forward. i break promises to myself all the time. i hope i dont break this one. surgery was brutal. it totally ruined my high.

- the yeasayer album is my new murder.

- There are two movies that will carve a deep niche into american film making this year, those two movies are No Country For Old Men and There Will Be Blood. or at least thats what all the critics are saying. i havent seen either. i was excited about No Country For Old Men from the minute i heard about it. one of my favorite authors meets up with one of my favorite directors (or in this case, directing duos). their distinct narrative styles complemented each other. it seemed a perfect match. everyone is saying its cinematic perfection. the word 'masterpiece' is being thrown around loosely and confidently.

but recently the reviews for There Will Be Blood have started coming in and the critics seem absolutely stunned by it. they have eschewed typical praise almost as if they are afraid it isnt strong enough. they can only comment about how utterly original and profoundly moving it was. they lean on the powerful performances and strangely perfect score (by Radioheads Johnny Greenwood) when describing its good points, and try to find detraction in how remarkably ambitious everything is, from the spare, minimal sets to the almost unheard of early century american cadences the actors use. in the end almost every reviewer has said they dont know if they have seen anything as good in the past 50 years, and that they will have to watch it a few more times to determine this. all i know is i gotta see it. i gotta see both of them.

- i need to sleep more.