such a pretty garden

we are at the writing portion of the day. i am smoking a hand rolled cigarette and drinking warm water, sitting in my office staring out the open window. it is hot outside but not unbearably hot, i see some legs are covered in denim. i think i noticed a light long sleeve earlier. a palpable calm shadows every pedestrian. there is quiet relief lost in the passing traffic. everyones relaxed. it is saturday afternoon.

i woke up feeling fat and lazy. i let my hand slide across my sweating belly and groaned. I felt the sickness from last night shudder in my stomach and bowels. i gotta stop eating so late. i thought about getting dressed and getting some coffee. then i thought about smoking a joint and playing a video game. then i wondered if we had any beer. then i remembered i had to pay rent.

i grabbed some cash and hopped on my bike, headed for the bank to make a deposit. i took it for granted then, but now that i think of it, now that ive put it into words, that particular trip, to the bank to deposit money, is the purpose of our lives. people die to make that trip. wars are started, alliances are formed, drinks are served, lives are shattered, all so that we can deposit money in the bank. hey, at least im part of something, some of us dont get to make that trip at all.

when i got back i heard the lawn mower in the yard behind the house. the land lady was down there, trimming the grass. she was in a yellow bikini bathing suit top and small red shorts. i eyed her for a minute, thinking dirty thoughts. she is my land lady and she is fifty years old, but damn if she didnt give me a rise. i caught where my mind was and laughed into the empty apartment. im such a perv. sometimes i even surprise myself. she didnt see me and i didnt stand there long. that would have been sort of awkward had she looked up and discovered me lurking in the window, staring down at her. plus you know, she is my land lady and she is fifty years old.

later today ill meet a friend at a soccer field where they have booths set up selling authentic south american foods. then ill go to a birthday celebration or to "some wild party" in the lower east side. right now im alone and im feeling ok with everything.

that is all for now.