Saturday, April 14, 2007

7 under par


its the weekend. do bloggers take weekends off? do they post short quips summerizing their liesure? youtube videos? a brief synopsis of their plans? whats the etiquette here?

oh man, this is the funniest shit ive read in a while.

today i havent done anything. nothing at all. well, i played some tiger woods golf on my xbox. i never play video games, but for some reason today seemed like the day to break that rule. so ive been running holes on the back 9 for the last few hours. im like, 7 under par. to those not in the know, thats pretty fucking good.

in other news:

so i guess the guy that created Girls Gone Wild had his house broken into and was made to put a dildo in his ass while saying, "you are watching boys gone wild." someone videotaped it (most likely while pointing a gun to his head) and threatened to use the tape as blackmail. there are a few obvious flaws to that plan. But one that reallly baffled me.

why is the Girls Gone Wild guy going to care if someone has a videotape of his sodomizing himself. i imagine the conversation when the tape leaked would have went something like this:

Public: So you put a dildo in your ass and said, "welcome to boys gone wild." what do you have to say about that?

Girls Gone Wild guy: well you know, i had a gun pointed to my head. whatcha gonna do?

and that would have been the end of that. what, is he supposed to be threatened that people will think hes gay? hes the guy that created Girls Gone Wild, no one even cares if hes gay. he could be the recipient of a "Best Double Anal With 100 Man Bukkake Finish at a Construction Site" award, and hed still be the mastermind behind commercially exploiting a largly unexplored perversion in the typical straight male. he made a billion dollars by identifying with heterosexual men. like i said, i dont think anyone cares if hes gay.

i have to wonder how many days one has to be up in order to concoct such an incredibly stupid idea. that has to be some serious meth amphetamine. or crack. one of the two. i mean, because you would have had to been up at least 3 days before you thought to yourself, "you know what would be a good idea?" and then hatched such an idiotic scheme. then you would have to have been up an additional 3 days to actually go through with this foolish arrangement.

but the kicker is how he got caught. apparently he is quite the conman. his angle is to talk his way into the circles of high society and then simply borrow thousands of dollars from them with no intention of paying it back. i dont know how long you can pull this kind of stunt off, but it seems plausible, so ill go along with it. (still it baffle me that he can be clever enough to fool his way into the homes of the rich, yet conjured up such a mindless plan for quick money.)

i guess one night he was at some exclusive party at a penthouse above the Hard Rock Cafe in las vegas. he was on ectasy or something and divulged to nikki hilton, of all people, how he had video taped the Girls Gone Wild guy humiliating himself. of course nikki tells paris, who then, in a surprising moment of clarity, goes to the police. he got snitched on by paris hilton. THEE girl gone wild.

how fucking dumb is that?

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:gray matters: by jkg is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
Based on a work at downtownalleys.blogspot.com.