old friend

hello emptiness.

ive been staring into you for a long time. ive been searching for the answers in you, hoping they would reveal themselves, praying they would emerge from the darkness, like little streaks of light unfolding into great illuminations.

but i havent had much luck. not recently. not in the past few months.

its strange, emptiness, because you are everywhere. in the television. on the radio. at the bus stop where someone tried to dress you up in meaning but only achieved the dull shock of vandalism.

i see you in the conversations i overhear. in the discussions i have. in the text messages i receive and even in the ones i send. i noticed you in the forms i had to fill out when i was in the ER and they told me i had pneumonia. you had stripped me of a diagnosis that would give purpose to what ails me. i thanked you for that, that time. but still it left me with nothing.

a pack of antibiotics and some weak painkillers. a pain in my chest that would eventually go away.

i like you there, emptiness, but for soem reason i feel we've grown distant.

like you dont need me anymore. or maybe i dont need you.

i know you are inside me, but i dont think the answers are there. not this time.