Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Soft Buns


I haven't eaten fast food in the last 5 or 6 years. Well, not counting the occasional value meal while traveling the country or rolling in a fast car through the streets of south beach with the one and only drum clinic. And it wasnt something that just came gradually with age. It was an entirely conscious decision. I forced myself to stop eating it. I quit cold turkey. I just couldn't fuck with that shit anymore.

Its too bad too, because fast food is some tasty ass shit. I can remember taking that first bite of a Jack n the Box patty melt and it always being like, "Welcome to Flavor Country sir, would you like some ranch dressing to dip your curly fries in?"

Why yes.

It was like deep fried evil dipped in sugar. It tasted like sin, almost all of them. I couldn't get enough, for a while I was addicted.

I knew I was addicted pretty quick. It wasn't like realizing you're addicted to drugs. It was much more clearer. See, I readily accepted that I was addicted to fast food, particularly, the Jack n the Box Sourdough Ranch Chicken Sandwich, and just took it as a wonderfully delicious flaw in my character. It wasn't the same with, say, crystal meth or weed. You usually ignore or avoid the fact that your addicted to drugs, it doesn't even occur to you until you notice the depths of depravity you will go to in order to get some. With fast food I immediately checked it and just shrugged my shoulders and said supersize. Extra mayo. With bacon.

But after a while not only was I getting fat, but it got to be a hassle copping the goods. See, if you don't have a car, or have access to a car, at 2 o'clock in the morning its quite a fucking task to score a Western Bacon Cheeseburger.

So I quit that shit like a trick that stole from me.

I still eat burgers and pizza, but no mass produced chain staples like I used to. No carls jr. No burger king. No KFC and definitely no Jack n the Box.

Stupid, scrumptious jack n the box and its mouthwatering grilled to perfection baby molesting burgers.

none of it.

no mas para Juan.

I don't miss it either. Its just some crap I used to do when I was younger. Like play kickball or shoot heroin or call pretty girls then giggle and hang up when they answered. Except I noticed today, that I do like to keep a bag of hamburger buns in my cupboard. Everything seems to taste a little better on a hamburger bun.

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Check out this mash up of Gnarles Barkely and the Notorious B.I.G. And earlier today ESPN Classic was playing an old Basketball game [Bull vs. Lakers 1991 Championship - Game 1] and I noticed, that Michael Jordan fella was pretty darn good! And please peep out Weed Carriers, that shit is classic.

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:gray matters: by jkg is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
Based on a work at downtownalleys.blogspot.com.