early riser

ive been waking up earlier and earlier. soon ill be rising with the sun and the disappearing cold. greeted by the warming sky, a breakfast of bird chirps.

this is good. my biggest complaint about living has been there just isnt enough hours in the day. and i knew this was my own doing, that i was sleeping away the time i need, that i was wasting the time i had.

id been told before that i should just wake up early but im a stubborn one that scoffs at advice and always has an arsenal of excuses on why i cant live any other way than the way im living.

but the solution was obvious and even though i turned a blind eye to it i guess sometimes the solution just folds into you.

first i began waking up an hour before i used to, these days i find myself waking up two hours before i used to. if this pattern keeps up ill be waking three hours before i used to and then the only option will be to finish work earlier and have more room to breathe.

i still lay in bed for a half hour or so before i actually get up. this way the dreams have faded and the worry has simmered and the day is a little more clear as i climb into uniform.

it also gives me time to just jot down a few words every morning before i begin to do that which has to be done.

and it gives me a little more time to think. a little more time to find my place in the matter.